you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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