just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
