Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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