I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
