What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
