I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize