You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize