chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
