if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well you can't waste a boner
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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