How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
