Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
