I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
