Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
