I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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