i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
