I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
