remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
