every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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