Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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