Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
