yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
