haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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