so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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