i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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