My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
