you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
