My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The uberlube is also flammable
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
