You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had sex on a dog bed..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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