All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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