I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
