Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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