hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize