He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Michael Bay diarrhea
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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