My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
