we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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