Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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