I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think we might need a safe word for this...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
