Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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