Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
