I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
