I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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