I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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