he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
