Dual....:-)
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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