I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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