Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize