just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
