Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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