She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was like eating out sand paper
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
