I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize