I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
