I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize