You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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