I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
