he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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