You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
