never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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