I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
