I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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