so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Randomize
