i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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