Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize