At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I AM VODKA MAN
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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