I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
