doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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