I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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