he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
